Ask Frenzal

More Q+As

2004-10-31T18:58:00.000-08:00

hey play a gig with my band, we are small and are trying to get heard on the brisbane music scene which sucks these days when it comes to punk. stop been big cunted rockstars and prove you still care about the little people.
listen here - http://www.mp3.com.au/artist.asp?id=16121
and here - http://www.myspace.com/shootdowntheangels
we will give you ipswitch grade hydro and absinth.

Laxl ChoJa

Dearest Laxl, please don’t think for a second that we care not for the little people. Our hearts are full of consideration for those not blessed with the height 0f a normal human being. If you are a band full of these dwarfish types then we will be more than happy to play a show with you. Please send photos and dimensions to frenzalquestions@hotmail.com. Cheers, Lindsay

Ps – how the hell do you know how big our cunts are?

Excuse my ignorance as I attend a public high school and do not have access to showering/bathroom/toilet facilities as it was so nicely pointed out to me by a student of the Catholic school down the road, but who is El Hefe? Also is it true that drummers have rather less braincells than the rest of us? My best friend is a drummer and she cracks the shits anytime someone mentions this and I feel that it is time to find the truth of the matter. Thankyou
from your friend in Newcastle.

Hello there my friend in Newcastle. El Hefe is an illegal immigrant who snuck his way into a punk rock band. Drummers don’t have less brain cells, it’s just that guitarists have more. Your best friend should watch her diet. Simple insults shouldn’t cause ablution. Yours, Lindsay

hello Frenzal Rhomb! i am a massive fan from England. But the problem is i cant find your albums anywhere. Even to buy them on the net. If you sell them on your site i'm a muppey cuz i cant see them! So any ideas where i can buy ALL of them from? Cheers man Hey there sir. I’m sorry to hear you’re so massive. Though obesity is an ever increasing epidemic, so please don’t feel alone. I’m not quite sure what a ‘muppey’ is, though you are indeed one, coz here’s the Shock website addres for all our albums and stuff:http://www.shock.com.au/artists/releases.asp?artist_ID=55106Cheers, Lindsayif you could have sex with any rocker who would it be? dead or alive. of course you dont have to have sex with them dead... you could if you were into necrophelia... but if not, we could just time travel you... ill be quite.luv your gutskeely

Hey there Keely. If I could have sex with any rocker? Do you mean people who sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, quietly humming “happy birthday to meeee, happy birthday tooo meeee”? Then the answer is Gordy, both living and dead. Yours, Lindsay

Dear Lindsay.

Are any of Frenzals afraid of cold and snow?
Then why are you not played in Moscow yet?

From Russia with punk! Igor

Hey there Igor. Yes, we’re very scared of cold and snow. We almost came to Russia once, but then we heard you guys had snow. With any luck, this global warming should solve that problem fairly soon. Other than that. Turn your heater on and book us a gig. Cheers (in Russian), Lindsay.

To the boys in the band,
You have to play at homebake 2004!!!! When i think of Aussie punk i think of u guys!!! ive seen you at BDO 03 and at kangaroo street, manly heaps of times and your a fukin sweet live act! do you still know Belinda from Kangarock, shes kinda a family friend. You do it every other year so fuking do it again kaants!!! send my regards to neil hamburger, hes a cunt but i like seeing him get beat up and i fuking hate russel crowe!!! watta cunt. you guys are great
Keep it punk and come to the bake,
Hardcore fan: Dave

Hey there Dave. We’re not playing Homebake. Amanda Vandstone found out Jay is still a Scottish citizen and took us off the bill. Sorry, Lindsay

Hey just wondering wat you meant in your song "Everything's Fucked' when you said "My car’s running well on Human blood'. yeah wat was that refering to?

Quite simply, Jason has a car, it runs on human blood instead of petrol. And yes, it runs rather well. Much cheaper in these uncertain times. It also explains why he’s so pale. Cheers, Lindsay.

alright there i was just wanting to know where you lot in florida in july because a random guy looking like gordy in Animal Kingdom asked my brother where he got his frenzal rhomb t-shirt. We were stunned at first then we wondered if it really was him. Just wondering was it?

Yes, that was Gordy. He spends a lot of time at Animal Kingdom in Florida. A lot of time… He was over there making sure all the ballot boxes are rigged for your upcoming election.

Hey i was just wondering where the fuck is the lyrics because they where on the other website and bcause u guys are so fast i was asking if u guys could put them back on thanks
Kitty Lyons
Principal
Celebrant Assist

Hey there Kitty. Are you really a celebrant assist? That’s cool.

Gday

I know I'm a bit late to hear the Jackie O interveiw, but did they actually play the whole thing on the radio? They had no point, anyway I've got a few questions. First of all, I saw you play somewere and Jay said somthing encouraging about Good Charlotte, does Frenzal Rhomb endorse there music? I mean they were part of the reason I started getting embarressed about liking punk, and now I can't even say I like punk without giving examples and saying what sort. Is it because you're mates with them?

Thanks

Yes, Frenzal Rhomb wholeheartedly endorses the music of Good Charlotte. I’m sorry if they make you embarrassed about liking punk, maybe punk is not the right sort of music for you. Maybe great punk rock bands, like A Simple Plan, Last Years Hero and Busted, or their hardcore counterparts like GC, The Hot Lies and Blink 182 are not up your alley. Maybe…

More Frenzal Questions

2004-10-26T18:41:00.000-07:00

Hey there Everyone. Sorry we've been so lazy of late, but, as usual, we're just plain lazy. Here's a bunch more questions answered and I'll get to the news page real soon. Cheers, Lindsay

hey my friend showed me one of your songs "ben is a cunt". great song, just broke up with my b/f ben, and yeah i can totaly relate. you guys are spot on. what was ure inspiration?

Quite obviously, your boyfriend was the inspiration for the song. We knew him long before you, and knew he was a cunt. The song was our way of warning you. Sadly, you only just heard the song. Oh well, you do what you can…

what is it you do you should write themes and when it does happen you can have the sounds you want then we stick it up johns howard arse!

See, it’s the absence of these kind of powerful political minds that I believe cost Labor the election. Hopefully with three years grace we can get people like this into the shadow ministry.

When you guys releasing new album? if your even working on one that is..

We releasing new album when we want to. Me hungry now.

hey Frenzal Rhomb i just wanna ask you's a question do you smoke weed? if yes you's are fuking legengs coz raging is phat. and tom i know dan wiggans from enuf sed he is my brothers friend.

Enuf Sed? Enough Said.

Will you play at my christening party?my question is basically my subject. but also how are you doing?

jaz

Dear jaz. Cheers for your letter. Firstly may I say congratulations on your Christening, and welcoming the baby Jesus into your heart. I guess it’s better late than never. And no, we shan’t be playing your christening, coz christianity is for losers. Cheers, Lindsay

dear frenzal
have you ever had any gay moments in the band like gordys forskin ever got court in your lip ring cause it gets me off or have you diped chocolate mmmmmmmm

Yes, yes we have. Thanks mum, Lindsay.

When are you guys playing in los angeles?, because I’d come to your show, and love it’s ass. My face would be so huge, several dicks would explode off of it, and an ass would be ignited by the fury that is frenzal bomb. My friend just farted, and it sucks, but im powering through it. So come to la, where things suck sometimes, but we all end up ok. Oh, and we’d offer you weed and aderol. Sorry to hear about john howard…I hear his dick is smaller than the average frenzal rhomb member dick.
With a glory that shames the ages,
Vasil oswald

Now once again, I don’t answer questions about future gigs, but this one really caught my eye. Mainly, what the fuck is aderol, and where can I get some? Cheers, Lindsay

Oi Jay,

I sent you an email a while back, but no answer.

Do you want to come to Byron for schoolies with us?

We will be doing a trip to Nimben also!

Get back to me!

Benj

Benj, unfortunately Jay isn’t around to answer your question, so I’ll field it for him. He would love to go on holiday with you, but not to Byron. See, his mother lives there, god bless her, and she’s a teacher, so going to Byron with you on Schoolies would be much more like going to school, or delving back into his teenage past, and believe me, no one wants to go there. Cheers, enjoy the midori and rohypnol, Lindsay.

if i call someone a magpie slut enough times do you think they would be interested in playing solitare with me??

I think the main thing to examine here is the fact that Solitaire is a game, denoted by it’s very name, to be played by one person alone, solo, hence solitaire. So even if, by your repeatedly calling someone Magpie Slut, they, for some unknown reason, suddenly decided they wanted to play Solitaire with you, they in fact couldn’t as it’s a game for only one person. Hope that cleared it up. Cheers, Lindsay

i was wonder what you thought of girl bands such as good charlotte and simple plan??
I love all God’s children.

how many albums have you brought out?

from andrew

Plenty. 6 I think. Let’s see. Coughing Up A Storm, Not So tough Now, Meet The Family, A Man’s Not A Camel, Shut Your Mouth, and Sans Souci. And For The Term Of Their Unnatural Lives. That’s 7. Fuck, how depressing…

TO Docter
Nice to see that you got your ass onto Chaser Decides the other night, fine work. Also we have been enjoying the antics of your radio program all throught the week. I am bored shitless other wise. how are you? i am actually suspended from school now with my friends. we are being idoits and eatting junk food to pass the time. Have you ever been suspended in your spelended schoooling years. What did you do in the spare time???????
we are bored just rang you up on the radio hope you enjoy the sounds of our voices
we enjoyed yours it was "tremendous"
as we sugested gargantous
love Maddy and Monica and Nannah Hannah

We went to italy on a school trip and now we are suspended for drinking and bored shitless at home if you were in our position what would you do?
love maddy and monica
p.s we missed you in melbourne thanks to the trip to italy, and you re the reason we went out to go find 18 year old rum so you fuckers got us into this and you are going to get us out.
you better help
pps our parents are crazy so if you don't see us at your next gig you will know why
pppppps we love you
pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppps please help us we are dead we are to young to die - i am only 15
p.s our parents are not aware of our drinking habbits and we dont want them to find out
please at least send us a picture of the docter dressed as a women to make us laugh
love maddy

Dearest Maddy, Monica and Nannah Hannah. I’m very sorry to hear of all your troubles, and my I kindly suggest some form of ecstasy and vodka suppository to remedy all that ails you. Cheers, Lindsay (I’m not a doctor)

Guys, why aren't u playing at homebake this year, my gf's devastated????????????

I know, you’ll have to finger her to some other awful music.

dearest frenzal boys

what tattoos do you each have adorning your sexy bodies?

cheers,

m e

We’ve got flames, and skulls, and other scary things; lounge settings, candelabras, all on fire of course. Various kanji characters meaning “stupid tourist” or “I got fucked over by a tattooist in Japan”, and of course thick XXXs all over our hands and necks. You know, the usual.

to whom it may not concern, where the fuck is my video? ibought a mans not a camel but i didnt get my video because of some lame arsed excuse the guy at the record store gave me im sick of the hard working australian guy getting pushed around by corperate thugs such as yourselves so cough up with my fucking video.
yours untruthfully matty mudskipper

Hey there Matt. My sincerest apologies for your loss. It could in fact be that A Man’s Not A Camel came out in nineteen-ninty-fucking-eight, and the limited edition release that came with the video has well and truly sold out, even with our meagre sales rate. Nevertheless, you should king-hit the guy for being a tool of the man, and smash several states whilst you’re about it. Cheers, Lindsay.

Frenzal,
How can I obtain the classic demo cassette you did with "Phil" and "You Only Like Me When Your Stoned" on it? I stole it from a dead junkie when I lived in Bucknell St., but can't find the bastard of a thing now.You can buy all other recordings at shops and shit but have never scene the demo songs. If youse can find the time let me know, thanks for reading this-theButcher.

Ahh, the age-old question. There’s a couple of them sitting on the shelf behind me, at Frenzal HQ, but I’m not allowed to touch them. Surely you can find some filthy wino with stained pants and half a dreadlock left on his head hanging around Wilson street who still has a copy. Or did your dad lose his too?

Dear Frenzal,

Which one of u guys has the biggest hard on for madge bishop?

Regards,
Chachi

Dearest Chachi. Neighbours is a tv show. It’s not real. Please get over it. We’ve all got hard-ons for Alf, from that Reality program Home and Away. Cheers, Lindsay.

Hello.
Can anyone tell me where i can get pictures of your bassist, if possible from when you played in the UK on your tour with the dropkicks. He's hot!!!!

Cam
xxx

Dearest Cam. Obviously you suffer from some form of mild retardation, so I’ll be nice. Click on the link below, and there’s some nice pictures of Tommy.

http://photobucket.com/albums/v48/DoctorLindemans/Frenzal%20Live%20Nonsense/

or else, you can go to www.frenzalrhomb.com.au and enjoy yourself there. Cheers, Lindsay

dear lindsay or gordy. We are three peice punk band and we're not very good. BUT we would like some inspiration what is a good topic to write a song about AND we would like to play with u sometime at a local show. u guys rock even though u suck. and we have met u so we have special priveleges. had my third joint the other day...good stuff eh
Cheers!
Connor, ABC

Now Connor, whilst I don’t doubt for a minute that a person of your superior intelligence does in fact work at the ABC, I do wonder why you haven’t used your position on influence in the Government Broadcaster to shoot your band to the top of the charts. Maybe after that third joint, you’re too stoned. Cheers, Lindsay.

Dear Lindsay,
My wife thinks to be a real man you must get in a 15 man pub fight. Is this true? Can i be saved cause im a fucking pussy! Shall i sign the divorce papers or pick up my favourite bar stool?

Please Help

Cheers from inna pickle

Dear Inna, if that is indeed your real name. I think you misheard your wife. To be a real man you must get in a 15 man pub FUCK. That’s what she meant, and I’ll see you and 13 mates down the townie this Friday night, we’ll make a man of you yet. Cheers, Lindsay.

Question 1

2004-08-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Lindsay

Who has the milkiest thighs - Jason or Gordy?

regards

Fucking Cockhead

Dear Fucking Cockhead

Gordy has the milkiest thighs. Thankyou for buying our records

Lindsay